I stood at the island in my kitchen in front of a line up of plates, realizing I was probably making my million and 71st peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and my billionth bowl of Campbell's Lightening McQueen's chicken and noodle soup. When had I become a "chef"? (By the way, that term is used loosely in this particular example.)
My next thought was a bit nasty. "I did NOT go to college to become a cook." My mind traveled back in time and I quickly ran through the six years I spent in college, just to make sure. I thought of my numerous presentations of thought provoking and cutting edge designs for the "crits" in design school. The inspiring discussions late at night with my fellow studio mates on our design theories. (Sigh). Yes. I thought so. I definitely had not gone to college to become a "short order cook". Whew!
See, here's the deal. My daughter only wants peanut butter, my son wants soup, my husband wants something tasty and healthy, and I just want to skip dinner and go straight to dessert! Some days I feel like between all of the taste preferences, I could be standing in that kitchen non-stop!
I can't always prepare what they want because it is not always what is best for them.
I need to make sure they are getting healthy food, and that I am not spending my life in the kitchen being a "short order cook" and becoming a burnt out wife and mom. Now, with all of the thoughtful catering and tailoring, of snacks and meals, and careful consideration for the health of my family, invariably, one of them walks past what I have prepared for them and complains, "I never get what I want!" (or) "You never care about what I want!" This day was no exception. I personally was trying quite hard to keep the anger and lack of appreciation in my heart from building to a level where this mama got "snappy" with her dearhearts. I stood there grumbling under my breath sentences like, "I did not go to college all those years to be your personal chef!" Or, "This family just doesn't appreciate what I do for them!" (Yes, this is the nasty me.)
Then it hit me...I wonder if this is how I treat God?
Am I running from what has been prepared for me? Complaining, "I never get what I want!" And, "You never care about what I want!"
First my thoughts went to how must God feel when I treat him this way? I know he stills loves me, just as I still love my own children, even when they are ungrateful and turn from what I have prepared. He comes to me over and over with HIS perfectly prepared moments of life and I can only reject, complain, or accept HIS offerings begrudgingly. I think how much it hurts me when my family does this to me, and yet I do this many times to my Heavenly Father.
Why do I think I know what is best for me?
Just like my children, I know only what I want to eat for that moment. Or what my tastebuds are craving...in the moment. I am not thinking about the bigger picture or down the road. I can only see here and now. Just as my children have to trust that I know what is best for their meals, I too must trust God in his choices and timing in my life. Just as my children think they know better than I, what is the best meal for dinner; I do the same with God in life choices and the time table of life events. So I guess, the next time a prayer is still not being answered or something happens in my day that does not fit my schedule or is in my plan, I need to remember to humble myself and thank my Father, who loves me unconditionally, for His perfectly prepared buffet called "my life".
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:18
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9
