So I got out of town, this past weekend, for my 20th class reunion back in Indiana. Now, I'll be honest all those old insecurities did resurface. Darn it! I felt uncomfortable. But I quickly changed my attitude and got out of my own way and decided that if I felt uncomfortable, that it was worth it. Anytime you are uncomfortable there is opportunity for personal growth...right? Well, to alleviate some of the uncomfortableness I admit I shopped for a great outfit to feel good in...hello, I am a woman! Plane tickets...check. Great outfit...check. Party reservation $ sent...check. Bags packed...check. Positive, confident, fun party girl attitude...check! I was ready!
Or was I? Would I be judged? Would anyone talk to me? Why did no boy in my class ever ask me out? Would the popular girls even engage in conversation? Would that old crush still be devastatingly handsome? Would the boy who had a crush on me be there? Would the smart kids have these amazing careers and look down on me? Would the prom queen be the most beautiful one in the room? Will the cheerleaders command the dance floor and I'll be left looking like I'm dancing with my hip thrown out? Did I wrong someone all those years ago and they are going to rip me a new one right there in front of everyone? How old do I really look? Can anyone see how much my boobs are sagging? Will spanx really suck in my baby pooch? Would I be able to get my mind and insecurities to quiet enough to have any fun? Aaaaah!!!
As soon as I showed up, it went nothing like I thought. At first it was overwhelming to the senses to see so many familiar faces that now were all grown up. It became a game of sorts, and a ton of fun to see what we all looked like! But after I got into the groove, I started to let go of all of the questions and insecurities I had running through my head, and got out of my own way. I'll admit it wasn't easy, but I did it. I became present and let myself receive all that the night had to offer. I found that I myself was not alone in this receiving mode...most everyone was right there with me. They just wanted to get reacquainted and enjoy the fun interchanges. I found my heart just melting as the night went on and felt so much love for everyone there and love in return. Now I have heard others who have gone to their reunions say they felt like they were right back in high school and nothing had changed. There is a little truth to that. I mean my old crush still looked devastatingly handsome. The prom queen still had her queenly beauty...maybe even more! But what I realized was that I was the only one letting the outside influences cloud up my mind with the inner monologue of questions from earlier. I was the only one keeping me from being me and open to the joy that was possible for the moment. So what did I do? I got out of my own way and completely enjoyed the entire evening! I had a blast and left feeling filled with joy. That is "Artful Living".
Lesson:
"Getting out of my own way is the the adjustment needed for my own freedom and ultimate joy."
- Erin Finney Myers
