When Your Best Girlfriend Has "The Ugly Cry"

We've all been there.  We've lovingly looked into the face of our girlfriend while she was ...yes, smack dab in the middle of a dreaded "ugly cry".  Puffy eyes, snot running down her upper lip, heart wrenching unintelligible sentences that sound more like a sound from Star Wars' Chewbacca than your sweet friend.  In her sentence fragments you are able to gather that she is over-committed, exhausted, running on empty, grumpy, stressed, overwhelmed, doesn't feel "perdy" any more, hasn't showered in 3 days, and she just found a hair growing where it shouldn't be. You grab her a tissue... and rub her arm.... and continue to let her tell you whatever is bothering her.  She finally calms down as she is completely spent and is ready to hear comfort from you,.. her girlfriend.  You tell her:

"Oh Honey, you need to take better care of yourself.  You need to take time for just you!  When was the last time you did something for yourself? Sweetie, if you aren't taking care of YOU, you can't take good care of anyone or anything else!" 

You continue to talk soothing words as she dabs at her remaining tears and tries to stifle the hiccuping aftermath of her sobs.  Your tone is sweet and loving, you give her lots of hugs, and tell her MANY, MANY, MANY times over how "PERDY" she really is.  You have a point to make though.  She needs to be taking better care of herself.  So, you point out all the things she used to do before she had kids or was married that were the ways she gave back to herself.  You point out she may need to say "no" to some things. You suggest that she take a date night with her hubby.  You offer to watch the kids.  She says, "You're right, but how?", to everything you just said.  You then start asking her to think what is doable today that is an action step she can take to helping herself out. You relay what you've tried.  You validate her along the way as she resists, and refocus her back to the issue at hand,...her need for SELF CARE.  She finally sees that she does need to take better care of herself.  She agrees to getting out with her girlfriends more, makes plans for her favorite hobby, assesses her daily life for smaller moments of self care, and puts herself in her appointment book as a true apppointment. She is ready to commit to better SELF CARE.

We've all been there for a girlfriend, right?  It's so easy to love on them, and say amazing loving words at times like these.  They melt your heart and all you want to do is give them big hugs and love on them the best way you know, and offer any help that you can. It's easy for us to see that they need more SELF CARE. And we waste no time pointing it out and reminding them with the whole "hands-on-the-hip-head-tipped-sideways-look" when they aren't staying true to their own Self Care.

So back to our girlfriend....

So you're looking at your "exhausted-just-had-an-ugly-cry" friend and.... (are you ready for this?)
YOU are actually looking in the MIRROR at YOURSELF!  Yes, the "girlfriend" who just had an ugly cry was you! (Sorry to say, sweetie, it was you who sounded like Chewbacca.)  YOU just talked to yourself like you would your best girlfriend!  Can you imagine IF we did that?  It is so easy for us to do this for our girlfriends when they need it.  Why not do it for ourselves as well? Why not see that we too need to pencil ourselves in as an appointment in our planners or phones?  Why not speak loving words to ourselves at these times and see that we need to commit to better SELF CARE?  We TOTALLY see it in our girlfriends lives and we encourage those sweethearts all the time. 

We should take our own advice and treat ourselves like we would our "best gal pals"! 

Seriously ladies, this is a good one for all of us. We all need to treat ourselves like we would our best girlfriend.  We need to listen to our own GREAT advice for Self Care.  Self Care is an area of my life, too, that is just begging for alot of "Artful Living" moments.  In Joshua it says:

 Protect your life very much; as a way of loving God. - Joshua 23:11

 

I, like many women, will throw myself into a volunteer project, my kids, my home, school, job, etc. and yep...you guessed it, I can tend to neglect myself in the process. But I need to remember that each time I follow up with that needed doctors visit, read a book, go for a walk, journal, take a hot bath, choose healthy food, have a date with hubby, or take a self imposed "time-out" in my closet (yep, I have been known to do that and not ashamed to say it), I am not only loving myself...but I am also loving God.  I am loving my body and my life that He has entrusted to me.  Girlfriends, we need to remember that we are so precious to God.  He thinks we are the most precious things he created.  He delights in us and finds great joy in us.  Each time we make a choice for Self Care, we are getting in agreement with Him.  So from one girlfriend to another, "Be gentle with yourself.  Treat yourself like you would your best-gal-pal.  Get a refill on your "soul-cup"...because when you do, you will feel better equipped to give to others and ...best of all,...you'll be loving God in the process." So as I go on my own journey to better Self Care, I would love for you to join me...

 

 

How can we CHOOSE to find and create ARTFUL LIVING Self Care moments in our everyday lives?

 

  

 

Challenge:  Let's get creative!  What are some ways, this week, that we can treat ourselves like we would our very best girlfriend?  What steps, this week, can we take for better SELF CARE?

 

 

 

 

Related Scripture:

 

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you midst?" - 1 Corinthians 3:16

 

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." - 3 John 1:2

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

 

 



The Grateful "Grass Whisperer"

The above picture is the handiwork of "The Grass Whisperer" with lots of help from "The Big Guy Upstairs".

"As a Golf Course Superintendent, I have always considered myself a farmer that never has a harvest.  Now,...I believe that my harvest is being able to drive my cart around the course in the afternoon after the daily work is finished and appreciate how awesome (this course) is and how great the view is from my office." - The Grass Whisperer (aka, My Hubby)

My husband is a Golf Course Superintendent.  He would be the first to say he is not an artist.  But in my eyes, he is what I like to affectionately call the "Grass Whisperer".  Definitely an artist who works with God on the most basic of levels everyday.  As a Superintendent he lovingly manages the maintenance of the grass on the course.  The color, texture, and movement he is able to paint on the canvas he calls a golf course, rivals that of any "en plein air" artist.  His whisperings move even his crew into a synchronized motion over the acres of earthen canvas, where the grass bends and shapes into the most magnificent version of itself.  Each blade will ripen to it's jolliest shade of green, at the gentle encouragement of his master plan.  He has returned month after month to his canvas and has been able to pluck the vision from his mind to recreate and pull forth his ideas.  His paint brushes are his crew and machines. His paint colors are a mixture of what Mother Nature offers up in plants, water , and sunshine.  And the earth, is his canvas.  Yet he still says, he is not an artist.  I beg to differ.  He is definitely an artist each day in conjunction with God himself.  He has most assuredly found his "artistic voice"and is using his God given gift each day. 

Life wasn't always so idyllic for my husband in his career.  Or for us in our family.  A few years ago, the course he worked for, at that time, was going bankrupt.  The economy had tanked and the golf industry in Arizona had taken quite a hit.  The last two years he worked at that course, his income was slashed nearly in half and each week he was told to lay off another member of his crew until the once 60 person crew had shrunk to 8 people including himself.  He worked on such a small budget that made it difficult to even get his job done.  Each day there existed such a fear for those that were still left employed, that they often turned on each other.  Moral was very low.  And if that wasn't fun enough, his own job was a roller coaster of week to week threats of layoff for 2 solid years. While he did remain employed, the stressful circumstances forced us both to search each day for things to be thankful for.

More handiwork of "The Grass Whisperer" and God.

"Neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth." - 1 Corinthians 3:7

 

He has since found a new opportunity to work at a different course, that thankfully is financially stable.  He now has a full crew, he has a good budget, he is earning what is needed, and to top it off ... he gets to work in the beauty of the outdoors.  As I said before, he works with God on the most basic of levels each day.  The above scripture has been in my husband's office for many years and he truly believes what it says.  That it is God who gives the growth and the bounty.  Even when it was the leanest of times,...He still provided.  My husband is truly thankful for his job and all of it's gifts and he enjoys finding the large and small joys in his work each day.  I am thankful that he too has his "dream job".  Though it makes me wonder, with the right attitude, might we ALL already have our "dream job"?  "Dream home"?  "Dream spouse"?  etc. etc.  And all it requires is a simple choice of appreciating what God has already given us?  To look at everything in our life as a gift that has been given to us especially by God?  To trust that He knows exactly what we need in our lives? What IF...we made the choice to approach each day with abundant Gratitude?   

Gratitude is a powerful link to Joy. 

My husband is a man of few words.  He is a hard worker.  Humble.  A down to earth man.  He would much rather be working outside than in his office.  He doesn't often speak up.  But when he does, he speaks with a profound simplicity.  So... it recently came as a surprise when he took a suggestion of mine (gasp) regarding his "corner" of his work's monthly newsletter and ran with it.  He decided to write something that was a bit of a departure from his usual fair.  I've included it, so that you may see how

 

one man has used "GRATITUDE" to find the beauty in his everyday work life.

 

_________________________________________________________________



 

"A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to play in a golf event with many other Golf Course Superintendents from Arizona.  After the event, a group of us were discussing our successes and our issues at our own courses.  One of the questions that came up was "What is your dream job?"

 

As many answers were given around the table, I said my dream job was the one I currently had.  I think a few guys thought I was kidding but I told them that working at (my current course) was truly a privilege.  Being able to show up to work at such a beautiful place and do what I love was not something I would ever take for granted. 

 

I have always been very into nature so whether it is watching the sun rise over the mountains or seeing the wide array of wildlife on the course, there are very few other places that measure up.  Even having the opportunity to play such a great golf course and possibly even hitting a couple of shots where they were intended, makes me feel very lucky.

 

I believe that my entire staff feels that way as well.  The ideas of spending every day at a place that appreciates the work and effort involved with maintaining a golf course is truly a blessing.  When you add in fantastic support from owners, members, other managers, a great staff in every department, and an incredible facility, how can it get any better.

 

As a Golf Course Superintendent, I have always considered myself a farmer that never has a harvest.  Now, I believe that my harvest is being able to drive my cart around the course in the afternoon after the daily work is finished and appreciate how awesome (the course) is and how great the view is from my office.

 

(This course) is a great example of how great a place can be.  There is not a day that goes by that I am not truly grateful for being able to spend the day at such a unique and wonderful place.  Thank you to everyone that makes (this golf course) possible." - (My Husband) "The Grass Whisperer"

......that is ARTFUL LIVING!

______________________________________________________________________

Challenge:

Can you find 3 things to be thankful for in your work and/or home life today?  Would you be willing to try daily GRATITUDE if it meant you could have Joy, Peace, Happiness, Contentment? 

 

 

 Related Scripture:
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." - James 1:17

 "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. - Psalm 118:24

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:17

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever." - Psalm 136:1

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is at the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.  And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15



The Belly Button Monster

I know, it's a funny title for a blog post.  This title comes from a discussion I had with my son this morning about a dream he had.  I must say, I learn my biggest lessons in life from my children.  So anyway, this morning... my son is telling me about a dream he had last night about how he had made the decision that

he just didn't needed his Belly Button anymore. 

 

He went on to explain his reasoning in the dream which was,

"Really, what do I need it for anymore?  I mean, I used to need it, but I don't need it anymore and I decided it was time to let it go." 

 

He went on to tell me (between enormous giggles) that he searched and searched for someone to help him get rid of his Belly Button.  Finally, he found this magical wizard who told him about "THE BELLY BUTTON MONSTER".  This wizard guided him over to a box and he told my son (in his dream) that there was a monster in the box and if my son decided to open it, the monster would come out and take his Belly Button from him....since he didn't need it anymore.  My son said he was a little frightened to see this Belly Button Monster, but he was determined to let go of his Belly Button. (My son gestured largely with his hands and big eyes as he went on.) So he ever so slowly opened the box and out popped the Belly Button Monster!!!!  He quickly snatched up my son's belly button and went back inside the box!!! ( Again with large eyes and big arm gestures ) my son said he was so scared to look down at this stomach, in his dream.  He was afraid that in the "snatching" away by the monster that he was now hurt somehow. When he finally looked down at his belly button, it was gone and he had an unblemished, unhurt stomach.  He was so happy and so relieved that he had found help and that the monster and not harmed him but had helped him. He woke up, and that was the end of his dream.

As my son relayed his dream, he was so very animated and expressive, which added to the story.  The dream itself is so his style of humor.  It was such a JOY and very funny to hear him tell it.

Though, for some reason I haven't been able to get his funny dream out of my mind.  Now, this is where God uses the everyday moments to speak to me. This is an ARTFUL LIVING moment. I am so thankful that I can find HIS beauty and teachings in moments like these.  God comes to me in the smallest and yes the funniest of moments, like my son telling me about his dream.  There is a deep lesson here in this seemingly everyday exchange with my child.  (My son has told me his dreams every morning for the past 7 of his 10 years of his life.)  So in this small moment, I was thankfully very present with my son. The dream of an unwanted belly button and a Belly Button Monster made a big impression on me.

I started thinking, "Well, I too have ALOT of unwanted "belly buttons".  Those, would be the things in my life that don't serve me or that I don't need anymore. 

Like FEAR, MY PAST, MISTAKES, NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, UNFORGIVENESS, JEALOUSY, SHAME, UNWORTHINESS, WORRY, etc., etc., etc.,  This list is long.  And we too can go in search of the Belly Button Monster,...OUR GOD...and dare to open ourselves up to Him and how he can take the things in our lives that don't serve us anymore.  We can turn over to Him that which is a burden, or the things that way us down.

What are your "unwanted belly buttons"?

 

You may be thinking I'm weird and that this is a ridiculous way to refer to our burdens or "unwanted's" in our life.  But I found this story to be a silly, funny and lighthearted way/lesson of VISUALIZING with the serious stuff in life that we can

 

LET. IT. GO.

And in letting go and turning over of the things that weigh us down and don't serve us anymore, we too can feel happy and unharmed as my son did in his dream.  For some of us we may only need to do this one time, and for others we may need to do this each day.  Both are a way to let go.

In the listening and learning from my son's funny dream and being "present" in the moment with him, I found God's beauty in the everyday....THAT IS ARTFUL LIVING!



Challenge:   What ARTFUL LIVING moment can you find in your everyday? What unwanted burdens do you need to let go of?  Can you visualize yourself turning them over to God or THE BELLY BUTTON MONSTER?  Visualize yourself and what you would look like without the burden or issue?  Can visualize yourself and what your life would look like without it?  Can you see yourself and/or your life with something positive in it's place?

Related Scripture
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." - Psalms 68:19

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep:for thou, Lord only makest me dwell in safety." - Psalms 4:8

"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." - Psalms 55:22

I laid it down...and dared to move.

 

I had been carrying it on my shoulders like a 50 lb. bag as I walked down this long road of life.  On this day...an unremarkable day...I laid the burden of my life down.  Did you hear me?  I said,...I laid the "burden" I have carried all of my life...down.  I laid it down.

I.  LAID.  IT.  DOWN.

 

 

On this unremarkable day, after 25 years, I just let that 50lb. bag fall off my shoulder onto the dusty road.  Can I shout this achievement to the heavens and to everyone I know?  It is a heavy burden that I have carried since I was sexually abused at 14.  Why today, did I lay it down?  What did it?  To put it plainly...I was just done with it.

 

When that bag labeled SHAME, hit the ground, I swear the earth shook and moved.  The dust from the road swirled around me like a dust devil, from the heaving of that mass towards the earth.  My hair flowing around my face, caught up in the churning of the dust and wind.  At first I shielded my eyes from what I had just done.  Then ... then as the dust settled, I looked at what I had accomplished.  I looked at it lying there.  Looked back down the road, then looked up the road I had yet to travel.  Each outstretching straight and long, unable to see the beginning or the end.  I stood there breathing heavy, relieved of my burden.  I stood there taking stock of all I had just laid down, and reveling in the freedom I felt.  I realized, with new found delight, the lightness of my own self.  Now, ...now all I had to do was leave it behind on this road.  Leave it.  Just leave it.  But my feet were planted.  I stood there still contemplating picking it up or what to do with it.  Could I really just leave it here?  What would happen with it?  Why did I care?  It obviously had served a purpose and had had a payoff for me in carrying it around.  I could stand here and analyze what the payoff had been.  But I already knew.  I held onto that bag labeled SHAME, ... so I... so I.... so I didn't have to move forward and discover who I was without this as my identity.  It had been my security blanket.  But now, I had outgrown it.  Like a small child outgrows their "blankie".  I had security greater than this bag that lie in the road.  I have found and established a relationship  with my Heavenly Father.  The Father of all Father's...He is my true security now.

 

Now,...now I needed to just move.  I just needed to move before I thought about it anymore.  No thinking and analyzing like I always do.  No, I just needed to move.  I had to dare myself to move ahead.  I could see myself in my minds eye taking one step, ...two steps.  I stopped.  I took a look over my shoulder,...at who I had been and where I had carried that burden.  My footprints were deeper there...scaring the earth in my history.  I looked at them now...it was time to move.  I dared myself to leave it behind...that bag of SHAME in the road.

 

 

I dared myself to just leave the SHAME of being a woman who was molested by her father at 14.

 

I dared myself to leave the SHAME of being a woman whose mother was so broken herself, she could not get her child to safety.

 

I dared myself to leave the SHAME of not doing more, as a child, to get away from the abuse.

 

I dared myself to leave the SHAME of what is, isn't, should and shouldn't be in my relationships with my father, mother, sisters, and brother.

 

I dared myself to leave the SHAME of the separation my husband and I had 4 years ago.

 

I dared myself to leave the SHAME of the bully inside my head that beats me up with the reel of negative thoughts over and over.

 

I dared myself to leave the inheritance of SHAME, that I take on as my own.

 

 

 

No.  I say no.  It stops now.  I lay it down now.  I lay it down today,...here and now.

 

 

I looked up at the road ahead.  I would look no more at the road behind and what laid at my feet.  I would hang my head no more, in the body language answer of SHAME.  No, I would lift my head up.  I would lift my face up to the light, the light shining down and all around me.  The light that encompasses me every day....the light that guides, warms, feeds, and is my compass and security.  That Heavenly light.  I would hold my head high and receive all it had to offer.

 

My feet started walking again...slowly at first.  Then faster and faster....suddenly my feet broke into a run and I was eating up the earth, putting distance between myself and that burden.

 

 

I was lifting my face to the light above me and ahead of me, and moving towards all that I could be without the SHAME.  Running towards all that I wanted to be, needed to be, and desired to be with the deepest parts of my soul.  Those soul yearning places where God has been gently breaking me apart to reveal HIS full light filled creation in me, by peeling away the SHAME layers of my earthly family inheritance.  Revealing my true inheritance in HIM.

 

 

I have carried the burden of SHAME from the sexual and emotional abuse I received as a child, for 25 years.  I have spent the last 25 years piling more of my own created shame on top of that which was given to me.  Today, I release what was given to me, back then, and I will take on no one elses shame nor create more for myself.  This particular blog post, is me pouring out my heart and painting with my words.  I actually had a moment where I closed my eyes and visualized all that I have written here.  I was already wanting to let the SHAME go, but visualizing it was what helped me to get unstuck and to solidify it more.  The visualizing, writing, and sharing...that, is Artful Living.

 

 

- What burden do you carry that you need to lay down?

- Is there a payoff with keeping it?

- What is that payoff?

- How is this burden weighing you down in your daily life?

- How is it holding you back?

-How is it impacting your daily life? Negatively? Positively?

- Could you use visualization as a tool to see yourself, putting your burden down or someplace else?

-Do you think the tool of visualization could help aid you in letting go of the burden you carry?

 

 

Here is a song by Switchfoot called, "Dare You To Move", that helped inspire the visualization of my letting go of my burden.  I hope it inspires you right where you are.

 



 

 

Challenge: Use the visualization technique to help you to let go of a burden you carry in your daily life.  Let your imagination sore.  Let God into the moment with you.  See yourself with your burden.  See yourself letting it go.  See yourself without it.  See yourself with God and where He is leading you.
 

 

 "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered in shame." - Psalms 34:4-5

"Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you." - Psalms 25:20

"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God.  Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.  No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse." - Psalms 25:1-3



Gratitude: The Lens For Uncovering Beauty

I stood in the golden morning sunlight at the kitchen sink.  It was there again.  The shimmer of the spider's web on the window sill.  I wiped away the little web for the 5th time that week.  It was a little game Mr. Spider and I had going.  I would wipe away his pesky web each morning and the next morning his web would be rewoven.  By this 5th morning, I marveled at his tenaciousness, patience, and his delicate sculpture flirting in the morning sunlight.  I was entranced with this one single moment of my day.  Captured in my own childlike awe and wonder at my Father's creation.  I realized that in that moment, I was so grateful for seeing something beautiful...again.  I was grateful,...that I was able to feel gratitude.

 



As a child I had this awe and wonder in me at all times. 

Then...then I grew up, and got a really "big life".  Job, husband, kids, house, schedules, and schedules for schedules.  My "big life" was too big for awe and wonder.  Then the day came in my "big life", where I stood at that same kitchen sink and wanted to run out the front door and run away from my really "big life", and into the arms of the awe and wonder of my youth.  This was all there was?  Have you ever wondered that?  Is this it?  This is all there is?  I thought there would be "more" at this point in life.  But no more was to be had.  I had every earthly thing there was to have....yet something was missing.  Do you know what that was?

Joy.

 

J. O. Y.  Three simple letters that encompassed the "more" I sought.  I remembered Joy from my youth.  I had to close my eyes and sit with my memories.  Those bittersweet memories.  I was a child who knew hurt and rejection, yet some how I had found Joy in the midst of the that pain.  How had I done it then, yet could not find it now?  I didn't have the pain I had then, any more?  How had I done it?  I then remembered.  I lived in the moment.  I stayed present.  And I found gratitude for the moments of awe and wonder that permeate children's minds.

 

So, I started an experiment with myself and tried on the ways of my youth again.  I sat with memories to help guide me.  I spent more time getting into my children's world.  I spent more time getting small.  I got really, really small.  Getting out of my "big life".  And you know what I found?  I found the "more" I had been looking for.

 

Gratitude was the lens for uncovering the beauty in the midst of my everyday life.  These moments with beauty...led to JOY.

 

 

My "big life" wasn't so big after all.  It was the smallest of moments that magnified God, that were the "big life"... the FULLNESS of LIFE.

 

 

Challenge: In this month of November, we celebrate Thanksgiving only one day.  I want to extend an invitation to be thankful for each of the days in November.  An invitation to come up with at least one thing each day of this month that you are grateful for.  Journal them, tack them up on the fridge, pin them up on a bulletin board, or just Facebook one a day.  When we start thinking and writing for a project like this, we tend to think on a Level 1 of writing of gratitudes.  For example,  "I'm thankful for my job, my spouse, God, kids, etc."  I would challenge you to get to that Level 2 of deeper gratitudes. Take a look at the examples below. Get your children involved and have fun seeing how you grow and change in the level of Joy you experience in your life. 



 

Here is a little inspiration.  Below are a few things I am thankful for:
 

1.) The freckles on my daughter's nose.

2.) The gap between my son's two front teeth that allows him to make a whistling noise when he pronounces any word with an "s".

3.) My husband's hands...the hands that work to provide for us,...tend to boo boo's,...and hold me at night.

4.) The warmth of a hot cup of coffee on a crisp morning.

5.) My eyes...my sight...the sight I have today.

6.) Heated car seats.

7.) The smell of the leaves on the forest floor in Autumn.

8.)  My cleaning lady.

9.) All of my girlfriend's hugs...their knowing looks in their eyes...and their reassuring squeezes of the hand.

10.) That my children, today,...in this moment are still loving mama hugs and cuddles.



"He has made everything beautiful in its time." - Ecclesiastes 3:11

"Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16 - 18

 



Artfully Connecting To God

I must admit...I had a recent bout of writers block!  I have  not had that as a problem for a long time!  The words always flow and are right there! I was completely blindsided. I would be sitting at my computer and ..... (crickets, crickets, crickets). 

So I would walk away and take some time and busy myself with something else I needed to get done.  Days went by.  I was really off my game. I had lost my mojo!  If you haven't guessed by my other posts, I'm someone who strives to have a deep personal spiritual bond with God.  He is at the center of my being.  I try much of the time to wait for His guidance in much of what I write.  I wasn't even feeling connected to God during this time of writers block.  I have always said that I feel like God meets me on the page.  All feels in sinc when I'm writing...I feel like I am operating from a core or authentic place.  It is effortless,when I am in my "sweet spot"!  So lately I had been feeling like both writing and my connection to my core, God, were not going well. These were red flags that something was off.

It was time to stand back and take a look at my daily life.  I knew what the issue was....my daily life was out of balance.  Most of my energy was going to a volunteer project that means alot to me. While a wonderful cause, it had become very consuming.  I had gotten so busy with this project, that my family had started to take a back seat to the tasks required of my new commitment.  And now I was feeling the effects of it taking a toll on my creative abilities and finally my spiritual connection. 

So, I needed to get a bit more organized and balanced about fitting everything in, and setting boundaries for myself.  Then I needed to be patient and trust that my writing would come when I made time for God.  So, I started all of this.  Gradually the organization helped balance return with my family, the boundaries helped ease tension, and I felt peace in "trusting" that I would again be creative.  As far as my connection to God, I kept doing everything I had been taught and saw my friends do, to connect to Him.  Prayer, listening, reading and studying,....on and on I went, day after day....I felt nothing.   So I spent more time in prayer, reading, giving, listening, being present,... doing all I was to do to connect to God.  Still nothing. 

One night, while with friends, our host talked about his struggle to find a church where worshiping felt comfortable.  He finally found a church where the worship style really spoke to him.  He was perplexed as to why he didn't like what he had been raised with and was more moved by the worship style of his current church.  His pastor friend theorized that he had a "Worship Style" that did not match with how he had been raised.  It was suggested that he take an online test to find out his worship style.  To find out the individual way that God and he connect.  I was completely intrigued!  While I had struggled with the very same thing for many years as my friend, I was currently having more trouble connecting with God on a daily basis.  I wondered if finding out my own worship style would help me with feeling connection with God and feeling "in sinc" again.

The very next day I got online to try an online "worship style" test.  The information from that, was a complete shift in my attitude!   Everything came into focus with my results!!!  Before I tell you my results, I will outline the "worship styles" that have been identified in research.   They are:

Naturalist

Sensate

Traditionalist

Ascetics

Activists

Caregiver

Enthusiast

Contemplative

Intellectual

 

These are suggested as the various unique and individual ways that God connects with us.  We not only connect with something greater than ourselves but with our true selves as well.  

 

What were my results for how God connects with me?  #1) SENSES  #2) INTELLECTUAL  #3) tied for the following... CONTEMPLATIVE and NATURALIST.  These results made so much sense to me.  I was only living ways to connect that scored much lower.  But I was neglecting my top three ways to connect.  This made me realize why music played such an important part in moving my soul.  It answers the question of why I always felt closest to God while doing art, reading, writing and being in nature.  But to go even deeper, I realized my memories of experiences from childhood were "in sinc" with the results of my test.  In going over those memories, they were moments where I felt "one" with something larger than myself.  Like I was my most authentic me and felt that God was present.  As a child I was not taught about God nor did we really go to church, so I am not sure that I realized what I was experiencing.  I do remember feeling complete Joy and Peace and feeling like I was really being myself and that something larger was at work.  Now, as an adult, when I intentionally connect with God...I now realize, this is what I was doing as a child,...even with not knowing Him then, He was still reaching out to me.  I will share some memories. Maybe it will help you to remember and to notice how you also connect daily.

 

- As a child I remember getting up early, before my family, on crisp Fall mornings, to ride my bike.  With blue and white streamers flying; my breath visible in front of my face;  a scratchy wool toboggan pulled down over my ears;  the birds;  the morning light streaming through the yellow, orange, and red leaves of the trees; my tire tracks in the dew on the grass.  I used to love this!!!  Looking back it was one of my favorite ways to connect with God as a child..A Total Naturalist, Sensate, and Contemplative moment!

- As a child I could often be found up in a Magnolia tree in full bloom in the spring, drawing all of the blossoms on the tree.  Another Naturalist, Sensate, and Contemplative moment.

 

- Picking the vegetables out of the garden at our farm, and then helping my mother prepare meals with those colorful and aromatic vegetables.  All the while, my science teacher mother, describing how these vegetables grew and the scientific reasons for why they were good for us to eat.  Senses, Nature, and Intellectual again. 

- Since a small child, music has always been a large part of feeling connected to something larger than myself.  The lyrics and tune, when just right, can move my soul....that would be a combination of Senses and Intellectual.

- I have kept journals since I was 9 years old.  This was my place of freedom. Always painting with my words on those infinite pages.  I have come to know in my adult years, that God definitely meets me on the page.  This would be the way I Intellectually and Contemplatively connect with God. 

 

 As I looked back over the memories, engaging my senses, being in nature, reading and writing have always been pivotal for my connection with God.  I have learned something new...or maybe old...about myself and God, that helps me to go forward in my daily busy life and help me to stay balanced and centered.

 

How do you worship God?

How do you connect on a daily basis with God?

If you knew your unique way, how would this impact your daily life?

If you know; are you able to worship in the way that best works for both you and God?

If you are not worshiping God in your unique way, what is holding you back?

What changes do you need to make to implement your unique connective pathways?

What can you do to help your children find their worship style?

How can you encourage your children to connect with God in their own unique way?

 

 

There are many online tests out there...the easiest I found was at http://common.northpoint.org/sacredpathway.html

The book "Sacred Pathways - Discover Your Soul's Path to God" by Gary L. Thomas can be found at

www.amazon.com/Sacred-Pathways-Discover-Your-Souls/dp/0310329884

 



Challenge:  Find out your way to connect with God and try living it out a little each day or week.  Pay attention to any changes within you and your relationship with God.  Pay attention to your mood and feelings while doing it and how you feel afterwards.

"I will praise you; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are your works; and that my soul knows right well." - Psalm 139:14-16

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."- Ephesians 2:10

"For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." - Romans 8:14-15

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." - Psalm 32:8

Perfectly imperfect artist's



"Life is the Art of drawing without an eraser."
- John Gardner



 

 

When I was in Design school, my classes were a mixture of design, architecture, and art.  I remember taking a drawing class, where most days were all about "timed" drawings.  We would all be in a circle with our easels and there would be a still life set up in the center of the circle we formed.  The instructor would start a timer and we had a minute to sketch EVERYTHING in the still life.  Then she would take it down to 30 seconds to sketch the entire still life.  Then 10 and eventually only 3 seconds to sketch it all.  While this exercise is good for many reasons, the one that always jumps out at me is that it gets you over the phobia of "doing it wrong" or "making a mistake".  You didn't have time to worry about it, you just did it.  We would just be ourselves and do it. When we were done with the exercises, we would walk around and look at each others easels full of sketches.  We all had the same subject matter at the center of our work; the still life.  But each easel had a vastly different style.  A completely individual look.   Every easel of sketches, was different and unique. 

 

 The mistakes within the sketches became part of our beautiful style and being our authentic self. 

When a designer is starting to put pen to paper, they use a paper known as vellum.  It is a very thin transparent paper that you can see through.  It comes on a roll and is used in the ideation and sketching process to start most projects.  It is considered a scratch paper or trash paper if you will. You tear off a sheet, tape it down and do your rough idea sketch.  The beauty of this paper is that you can then continue to tear off sheets from the roll and then layer them on top of the first sheet and refine your underlying idea sketch.  Most times, I would end up with around 30 layers of vellum paper before I had my final drawing. (This was more popular in the days before CAD (Computer Aided Drafting), but is still used in the ideation process or in the field.)  Funny thing was, you never worried about a stray line or a wrong idea, you just kept sketching and layering until you got to that top sheet which you would then use to trace onto the final drawing.  ALL of the underlying layers were still there and used.  All of the sheets where ideas and sketches were less than perfect or finished, were still there aiding in the final top layer.

 

 Each imperfect layer was an important part of the final product. 

 

I think the greatest lesson that I learned in those classes, is that as a budding designer and artist, 

 

there are no mistakes.  The imperfections are perfection.

 

These are always my last words to my children each time I sit them down to blank piece of paper or canvas.  Invariably one of them, will have a moment in their drawing or paintings that is not what they had envisioned.  Sometimes, one of my children will even have tears over the disappointment in what they believe to be a mistake in their art.  I always come to their sides and remind them again,

 

"There are no mistakes when creating your art." 

 

 

In coming alongside of them, we talk about ideas of what they could do with the "stray" line or their so called "wrong" color.  How it can be worked into their work of art and how it can become richer and maybe even better than what they imagined.  Last night, my son drew an apple and he was dissatisfied with it's overall shape.  He claimed it looked flat on one side.  On his own he turned his paper so that the apple looked as if it was resting on it's side....as if it had fallen to the ground and landed on it's flattened side.  He proceeded to draw a rock under the flattened side of the apple and was off and running with a completely different story for his drawing.  When completed, my son beamed and commented on how much more satisfied he was with the "mistake" in his drawing and where it had led him.  We looked at his drawing together, and my son proceeded to describe each part of his picture in detail, constantly marveling over the

 "once mistake", becoming a unique beautiful perfection. 

 

 

I can't help but think over my life and how many mistakes I have made and how God has intervened and made them a unique beautiful perfection.  Through Him and in Him these once thought of mistakes in life become an incredible beauty to behold. He finds a way to show me how to take my mess...mistakes...hurts,... my "trash", and turn it into "treasure"!  How cool is that! Our Creator is an Artist and Designer himself.  I find so many times that I am like my children, looking at my canvas (my life) and I suddenly realize with dissatisfaction that I have made a mistake on my painting of life.  Some how, he speaks to me and gives me a different way to look at my imperfect paint stroke (a decision or situation or hurt or anger) and helps me to find a way to integrate it into the most amazing painting on my canvas of life.  It is always better than anything I imagined myself.

 If our lives were "paint by number", how boring would that be?!

Be Yourself.

Be fully who you were made to be.

Live fully right where you are.

See the so called "trash" in your life as potential "treasures".

 

Finding a way to turn messes and mistakes into a work of art.....THAT is Artful Living!

 

Here is a little inspiration from Mercy River, called "Beautiful Life".  Enjoy!



 

 

 

 

 



This Week:
What "yuck" is going on in your life right now?
Have you recently made a mistake or realized, in hind sight, you made a mistake?
Are you nursing a wound, a hurt?
What decisions for forward movement, healing, and peace of mind, need to be made?
What potential "Work of Art" lies within your "yuck"?
How is our Creator, the ultimate Artist and Designer, guiding you to be creative with your mistake?


"For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago." - Ephesians 2:10

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands." - Psalm 19:1