When Your Best Girlfriend Has "The Ugly Cry"

We've all been there.  We've lovingly looked into the face of our girlfriend while she was ...yes, smack dab in the middle of a dreaded "ugly cry".  Puffy eyes, snot running down her upper lip, heart wrenching unintelligible sentences that sound more like a sound from Star Wars' Chewbacca than your sweet friend.  In her sentence fragments you are able to gather that she is over-committed, exhausted, running on empty, grumpy, stressed, overwhelmed, doesn't feel "perdy" any more, hasn't showered in 3 days, and she just found a hair growing where it shouldn't be. You grab her a tissue... and rub her arm.... and continue to let her tell you whatever is bothering her.  She finally calms down as she is completely spent and is ready to hear comfort from you,.. her girlfriend.  You tell her:

"Oh Honey, you need to take better care of yourself.  You need to take time for just you!  When was the last time you did something for yourself? Sweetie, if you aren't taking care of YOU, you can't take good care of anyone or anything else!" 

You continue to talk soothing words as she dabs at her remaining tears and tries to stifle the hiccuping aftermath of her sobs.  Your tone is sweet and loving, you give her lots of hugs, and tell her MANY, MANY, MANY times over how "PERDY" she really is.  You have a point to make though.  She needs to be taking better care of herself.  So, you point out all the things she used to do before she had kids or was married that were the ways she gave back to herself.  You point out she may need to say "no" to some things. You suggest that she take a date night with her hubby.  You offer to watch the kids.  She says, "You're right, but how?", to everything you just said.  You then start asking her to think what is doable today that is an action step she can take to helping herself out. You relay what you've tried.  You validate her along the way as she resists, and refocus her back to the issue at hand,...her need for SELF CARE.  She finally sees that she does need to take better care of herself.  She agrees to getting out with her girlfriends more, makes plans for her favorite hobby, assesses her daily life for smaller moments of self care, and puts herself in her appointment book as a true apppointment. She is ready to commit to better SELF CARE.

We've all been there for a girlfriend, right?  It's so easy to love on them, and say amazing loving words at times like these.  They melt your heart and all you want to do is give them big hugs and love on them the best way you know, and offer any help that you can. It's easy for us to see that they need more SELF CARE. And we waste no time pointing it out and reminding them with the whole "hands-on-the-hip-head-tipped-sideways-look" when they aren't staying true to their own Self Care.

So back to our girlfriend....

So you're looking at your "exhausted-just-had-an-ugly-cry" friend and.... (are you ready for this?)
YOU are actually looking in the MIRROR at YOURSELF!  Yes, the "girlfriend" who just had an ugly cry was you! (Sorry to say, sweetie, it was you who sounded like Chewbacca.)  YOU just talked to yourself like you would your best girlfriend!  Can you imagine IF we did that?  It is so easy for us to do this for our girlfriends when they need it.  Why not do it for ourselves as well? Why not see that we too need to pencil ourselves in as an appointment in our planners or phones?  Why not speak loving words to ourselves at these times and see that we need to commit to better SELF CARE?  We TOTALLY see it in our girlfriends lives and we encourage those sweethearts all the time. 

We should take our own advice and treat ourselves like we would our "best gal pals"! 

Seriously ladies, this is a good one for all of us. We all need to treat ourselves like we would our best girlfriend.  We need to listen to our own GREAT advice for Self Care.  Self Care is an area of my life, too, that is just begging for alot of "Artful Living" moments.  In Joshua it says:

 Protect your life very much; as a way of loving God. - Joshua 23:11

 

I, like many women, will throw myself into a volunteer project, my kids, my home, school, job, etc. and yep...you guessed it, I can tend to neglect myself in the process. But I need to remember that each time I follow up with that needed doctors visit, read a book, go for a walk, journal, take a hot bath, choose healthy food, have a date with hubby, or take a self imposed "time-out" in my closet (yep, I have been known to do that and not ashamed to say it), I am not only loving myself...but I am also loving God.  I am loving my body and my life that He has entrusted to me.  Girlfriends, we need to remember that we are so precious to God.  He thinks we are the most precious things he created.  He delights in us and finds great joy in us.  Each time we make a choice for Self Care, we are getting in agreement with Him.  So from one girlfriend to another, "Be gentle with yourself.  Treat yourself like you would your best-gal-pal.  Get a refill on your "soul-cup"...because when you do, you will feel better equipped to give to others and ...best of all,...you'll be loving God in the process." So as I go on my own journey to better Self Care, I would love for you to join me...

 

 

How can we CHOOSE to find and create ARTFUL LIVING Self Care moments in our everyday lives?

 

  

 

Challenge:  Let's get creative!  What are some ways, this week, that we can treat ourselves like we would our very best girlfriend?  What steps, this week, can we take for better SELF CARE?

 

 

 

 

Related Scripture:

 

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you midst?" - 1 Corinthians 3:16

 

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." - 3 John 1:2

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28