I couldn't move. I couldn't go forward. I couldn't go backwards. Moving left or right to go around the cars in front of me was not an option. I had to wait. There were so many cars in front of me on the road that I couldn't see what was up ahead. That "running 10 minutes early" that I had going for me earlier was now undone and quickly changing into "running 10 minutes late". I sighed a very audible sigh. "Great", I thought, "I made preparations to be ahead today, and now I am behind. I can't see how long this line of traffic is up ahead of me. I can't move forward and must just wait where my car sits." I smile and snicker to myself at the irony of my predicament. My lonely "getting nowhere" situation seemed to match the mood I was in with the current affairs of my life. Feeling like God has left me all alone and I'm not moving forward, for all the work I'm putting in. Feeling like I'm not getting anywhere and virtually standing still in my life. I also noticed I felt very alone in this sea of cars, which seemed similar to what was happening in my life that day. Feeling like God had left me all alone.
Ahhh, another long sigh. I turned up the radio to push away the negative thoughts and feelings that were mounting in my mind. Those familiar feelings of feeling like I am treading water all alone and that I am completely failing at all I am trying to accomplish. I reached for the dial on the radio again, as it just wasn't loud enough to drown out the negaitve inner monologue and lonely feeling I had building.
I sat there completely immobile letting myself be carried away by the song on the radio. It was a great song by Britt Nicole, called "All this time". (Song included at the end of this blog.) I had never really listened to the words before, but today the words hit me in a particularly different way. Her song is about how God has been there all of her life and that she has never been alone. That He has always been right beside her. In the joys and the pains of life. Her whole life.
I looked up at the rear view mirror and adjusted it. The road behind me was so long. The infinite line of cars glittered in the mirage of watery heat from the pavement. In fact, the road behind me went on and on and on.
My mind returned to Britt Nicole's melodic voice on the car radio..."You were always there. It was just You and I. You've been walking with me all this time...."
Sitting there looking at the path behind me and listening to the prophetic words of the song, triggered a shift in my attitude.
So much of our lives we are told to always look at the road ahead of us and not look back. Though, when we are stuck, in a holding pattern, or feeling like we are getting no where in life, maybe that is when we need to stop looking ahead. Maybe that is when we need to look at how far we have come and that we were never alone in our journey. Looking behind at the long road, it struck me how far I have come in my life. All that I have overcome and accomplished. Britt Nicole's song hit's close to home for me, as I can remember being "that" girl who had "that day" in her bedroom with no one to turn to trying to be strong. He was there that day and everyday since. I could see it all...as I looked behind me.
Sitting in the middle of traffic on an idle weekday in Phoenix, I let the words of a song soak into my heart and permeate it in the deepest fashion. I thought over all that I was currently dealing with and it was nothing compared to all that I have come through. Each past difficulty and each amazing joy I have had, He was there. No one else may have been present, but He was there. Even in the days when I refused to come to Him. He was there. Look at how long and beautiful the path is behind me! I was never alone.
Such deep thoughts for a random moment in the car while sitting in traffic. Right? But this is exactly what I try to write about...Artful Living. In our most common of moments, He is there with us and speaking to us. If we can just open ourselves up and listen closely, He is speaking to us in the ways that reach us.
Eventually, the cars in front of me started to move and I was moving forward, but with a renewed appreciation and a more positive outlook. Even when I think I'm alone and getting no where, I have only to look at the long well accomplished path behind me and see and that I have come through so much...and He was there at every turn.
That is Artful Living!
THANK YOU!
A big "thank you" to my amazing creative sister, Alyssa Finney Chew, for taking the above photo of the path for my story! You rock! Check out her photography at Lifeology Photography.
This week:
Take some time this week and see if you are able to see the extraordinary in the ordinary. What lessons are the small moments of life trying to teach you? Try listening for God's direction in the common moments of life.
"God will show me the path of life." (Psalm 16:11)
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105)
"I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways I acknowledge Him and He directs my paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Britt Nicole - "All This Time" Lyrics
I remember the moment
I remember the pain
I was only a girl
But I grew up that day
Tears were falling
I know You saw me
Hiding there in my bedroom
So alone
I was doing my best
Trying to be strong
No one to turn to
That's when I met You
All this time
From the first tear cry
To today's sunrise
And every single moment between
You were there
You were always there
It was You and I
You've been walking with me all this time
Ever since that day
it's been clear to me
That no matter what comes
You will never leave
I know You're for me
And You're restoring
Every heartache and failure
Every broken dream
You're the God who sees
The God who rescued me
This is my story
This is my story
All this time
From the first tear cry
To today's sunrise
And every single moment between
You were there
You were always there
It was You and I
You've been walking with me all this time.
I hear these people asking me
How do I know what I believe?
Well I'm not the same me
And that's all the proof I need
I felt Love I felt Your grace
You stole me heart that day
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