"I'm Not Qualified"

 



Paul says, "I came to you in weakness and in fear and with much trembling so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom but on God's power." 1 Corinthians 2

 

Paul says, "I glory in my weaknesses."  "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses that Christ's power may rest on me."  2 Corinthians 12

My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing.  Seriously?!  This wasn't like me.  I'm usually your "git up thar an git'er done girl".  I get up on stage and up in front of people impromptu all the time and never have a problem.  But today was different.  For whatever reason, I felt I was not the best person to do the job and I was feeling emotionally messy on the inside.  My outside circumstance was pushing me to get it together on the inside and fast, as I needed to go on stage in a matter of minutes.  I struggled to gather my thoughts and I finally told myself, "I think I need to quickly grab someone else to do the job because in this moment, I'm not qualified."  And then I said it over and over.  Then it started to morph and repeat in other versions like...

"I can't do this."

"I'm not ready." 

"I'm too emotional and messy to do this right now."

"__________, would be better.  I am not the best person for this."

"I'm too this and not enough of that".

It was silly really, I just needed to go on stage after the speaker was finished and segue into a discussion time for a group of 150 women.  It wasn't like I was giving testimony or a speaking for 45 minutes.  Seriously, it was a segue!  Just a few simple words!  But this day's verbal transition was following a topic near and dear to my heart that tapped into my own past of being a sexual abuse survivor.  And to be quite honest, I felt pretty unglued on the inside after listening to the speaker's statistics and descriptions.  How was I going to get up and follow this difficult subject when I felt messy and personally attached on the inside?  "I'm so not qualified."

I took a moment and stepped outside and took a long deep breath of the cool air and closed my eyes and prayed to God to step in and take over.  And like always, He did and totally carried me through the moment I needed Him most. 

Saying, "I'm not qualified." could be looked at by some as a weak or negative statement.

But it actually opens the door to our Heavenly Father. 

Seriously.  Can't you just see it? 

We say "I'm not qualified." and the door heaves and creaks open.

God is on the other side. 

He says, "Hello Sweetheart!  Thank you for opening the door and letting me in.  All I want is to help you and be here for you.  Now, come here and let me hold you. Crawl up into my arms and I'll carry you through this.  I've got this.  I've got you."