When Your Best Girlfriend Has "The Ugly Cry"

We've all been there.  We've lovingly looked into the face of our girlfriend while she was ...yes, smack dab in the middle of a dreaded "ugly cry".  Puffy eyes, snot running down her upper lip, heart wrenching unintelligible sentences that sound more like a sound from Star Wars' Chewbacca than your sweet friend.  In her sentence fragments you are able to gather that she is over-committed, exhausted, running on empty, grumpy, stressed, overwhelmed, doesn't feel "perdy" any more, hasn't showered in 3 days, and she just found a hair growing where it shouldn't be. You grab her a tissue... and rub her arm.... and continue to let her tell you whatever is bothering her.  She finally calms down as she is completely spent and is ready to hear comfort from you,.. her girlfriend.  You tell her:

"Oh Honey, you need to take better care of yourself.  You need to take time for just you!  When was the last time you did something for yourself? Sweetie, if you aren't taking care of YOU, you can't take good care of anyone or anything else!" 

You continue to talk soothing words as she dabs at her remaining tears and tries to stifle the hiccuping aftermath of her sobs.  Your tone is sweet and loving, you give her lots of hugs, and tell her MANY, MANY, MANY times over how "PERDY" she really is.  You have a point to make though.  She needs to be taking better care of herself.  So, you point out all the things she used to do before she had kids or was married that were the ways she gave back to herself.  You point out she may need to say "no" to some things. You suggest that she take a date night with her hubby.  You offer to watch the kids.  She says, "You're right, but how?", to everything you just said.  You then start asking her to think what is doable today that is an action step she can take to helping herself out. You relay what you've tried.  You validate her along the way as she resists, and refocus her back to the issue at hand,...her need for SELF CARE.  She finally sees that she does need to take better care of herself.  She agrees to getting out with her girlfriends more, makes plans for her favorite hobby, assesses her daily life for smaller moments of self care, and puts herself in her appointment book as a true apppointment. She is ready to commit to better SELF CARE.

We've all been there for a girlfriend, right?  It's so easy to love on them, and say amazing loving words at times like these.  They melt your heart and all you want to do is give them big hugs and love on them the best way you know, and offer any help that you can. It's easy for us to see that they need more SELF CARE. And we waste no time pointing it out and reminding them with the whole "hands-on-the-hip-head-tipped-sideways-look" when they aren't staying true to their own Self Care.

So back to our girlfriend....

So you're looking at your "exhausted-just-had-an-ugly-cry" friend and.... (are you ready for this?)
YOU are actually looking in the MIRROR at YOURSELF!  Yes, the "girlfriend" who just had an ugly cry was you! (Sorry to say, sweetie, it was you who sounded like Chewbacca.)  YOU just talked to yourself like you would your best girlfriend!  Can you imagine IF we did that?  It is so easy for us to do this for our girlfriends when they need it.  Why not do it for ourselves as well? Why not see that we too need to pencil ourselves in as an appointment in our planners or phones?  Why not speak loving words to ourselves at these times and see that we need to commit to better SELF CARE?  We TOTALLY see it in our girlfriends lives and we encourage those sweethearts all the time. 

We should take our own advice and treat ourselves like we would our "best gal pals"! 

Seriously ladies, this is a good one for all of us. We all need to treat ourselves like we would our best girlfriend.  We need to listen to our own GREAT advice for Self Care.  Self Care is an area of my life, too, that is just begging for alot of "Artful Living" moments.  In Joshua it says:

 Protect your life very much; as a way of loving God. - Joshua 23:11

 

I, like many women, will throw myself into a volunteer project, my kids, my home, school, job, etc. and yep...you guessed it, I can tend to neglect myself in the process. But I need to remember that each time I follow up with that needed doctors visit, read a book, go for a walk, journal, take a hot bath, choose healthy food, have a date with hubby, or take a self imposed "time-out" in my closet (yep, I have been known to do that and not ashamed to say it), I am not only loving myself...but I am also loving God.  I am loving my body and my life that He has entrusted to me.  Girlfriends, we need to remember that we are so precious to God.  He thinks we are the most precious things he created.  He delights in us and finds great joy in us.  Each time we make a choice for Self Care, we are getting in agreement with Him.  So from one girlfriend to another, "Be gentle with yourself.  Treat yourself like you would your best-gal-pal.  Get a refill on your "soul-cup"...because when you do, you will feel better equipped to give to others and ...best of all,...you'll be loving God in the process." So as I go on my own journey to better Self Care, I would love for you to join me...

 

 

How can we CHOOSE to find and create ARTFUL LIVING Self Care moments in our everyday lives?

 

  

 

Challenge:  Let's get creative!  What are some ways, this week, that we can treat ourselves like we would our very best girlfriend?  What steps, this week, can we take for better SELF CARE?

 

 

 

 

Related Scripture:

 

"Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you midst?" - 1 Corinthians 3:16

 

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your bodies." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

 

"Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." - 3 John 1:2

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

 

 



The Grateful "Grass Whisperer"

The above picture is the handiwork of "The Grass Whisperer" with lots of help from "The Big Guy Upstairs".

"As a Golf Course Superintendent, I have always considered myself a farmer that never has a harvest.  Now,...I believe that my harvest is being able to drive my cart around the course in the afternoon after the daily work is finished and appreciate how awesome (this course) is and how great the view is from my office." - The Grass Whisperer (aka, My Hubby)

My husband is a Golf Course Superintendent.  He would be the first to say he is not an artist.  But in my eyes, he is what I like to affectionately call the "Grass Whisperer".  Definitely an artist who works with God on the most basic of levels everyday.  As a Superintendent he lovingly manages the maintenance of the grass on the course.  The color, texture, and movement he is able to paint on the canvas he calls a golf course, rivals that of any "en plein air" artist.  His whisperings move even his crew into a synchronized motion over the acres of earthen canvas, where the grass bends and shapes into the most magnificent version of itself.  Each blade will ripen to it's jolliest shade of green, at the gentle encouragement of his master plan.  He has returned month after month to his canvas and has been able to pluck the vision from his mind to recreate and pull forth his ideas.  His paint brushes are his crew and machines. His paint colors are a mixture of what Mother Nature offers up in plants, water , and sunshine.  And the earth, is his canvas.  Yet he still says, he is not an artist.  I beg to differ.  He is definitely an artist each day in conjunction with God himself.  He has most assuredly found his "artistic voice"and is using his God given gift each day. 

Life wasn't always so idyllic for my husband in his career.  Or for us in our family.  A few years ago, the course he worked for, at that time, was going bankrupt.  The economy had tanked and the golf industry in Arizona had taken quite a hit.  The last two years he worked at that course, his income was slashed nearly in half and each week he was told to lay off another member of his crew until the once 60 person crew had shrunk to 8 people including himself.  He worked on such a small budget that made it difficult to even get his job done.  Each day there existed such a fear for those that were still left employed, that they often turned on each other.  Moral was very low.  And if that wasn't fun enough, his own job was a roller coaster of week to week threats of layoff for 2 solid years. While he did remain employed, the stressful circumstances forced us both to search each day for things to be thankful for.

More handiwork of "The Grass Whisperer" and God.

"Neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth." - 1 Corinthians 3:7

 

He has since found a new opportunity to work at a different course, that thankfully is financially stable.  He now has a full crew, he has a good budget, he is earning what is needed, and to top it off ... he gets to work in the beauty of the outdoors.  As I said before, he works with God on the most basic of levels each day.  The above scripture has been in my husband's office for many years and he truly believes what it says.  That it is God who gives the growth and the bounty.  Even when it was the leanest of times,...He still provided.  My husband is truly thankful for his job and all of it's gifts and he enjoys finding the large and small joys in his work each day.  I am thankful that he too has his "dream job".  Though it makes me wonder, with the right attitude, might we ALL already have our "dream job"?  "Dream home"?  "Dream spouse"?  etc. etc.  And all it requires is a simple choice of appreciating what God has already given us?  To look at everything in our life as a gift that has been given to us especially by God?  To trust that He knows exactly what we need in our lives? What IF...we made the choice to approach each day with abundant Gratitude?   

Gratitude is a powerful link to Joy. 

My husband is a man of few words.  He is a hard worker.  Humble.  A down to earth man.  He would much rather be working outside than in his office.  He doesn't often speak up.  But when he does, he speaks with a profound simplicity.  So... it recently came as a surprise when he took a suggestion of mine (gasp) regarding his "corner" of his work's monthly newsletter and ran with it.  He decided to write something that was a bit of a departure from his usual fair.  I've included it, so that you may see how

 

one man has used "GRATITUDE" to find the beauty in his everyday work life.

 

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"A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to play in a golf event with many other Golf Course Superintendents from Arizona.  After the event, a group of us were discussing our successes and our issues at our own courses.  One of the questions that came up was "What is your dream job?"

 

As many answers were given around the table, I said my dream job was the one I currently had.  I think a few guys thought I was kidding but I told them that working at (my current course) was truly a privilege.  Being able to show up to work at such a beautiful place and do what I love was not something I would ever take for granted. 

 

I have always been very into nature so whether it is watching the sun rise over the mountains or seeing the wide array of wildlife on the course, there are very few other places that measure up.  Even having the opportunity to play such a great golf course and possibly even hitting a couple of shots where they were intended, makes me feel very lucky.

 

I believe that my entire staff feels that way as well.  The ideas of spending every day at a place that appreciates the work and effort involved with maintaining a golf course is truly a blessing.  When you add in fantastic support from owners, members, other managers, a great staff in every department, and an incredible facility, how can it get any better.

 

As a Golf Course Superintendent, I have always considered myself a farmer that never has a harvest.  Now, I believe that my harvest is being able to drive my cart around the course in the afternoon after the daily work is finished and appreciate how awesome (the course) is and how great the view is from my office.

 

(This course) is a great example of how great a place can be.  There is not a day that goes by that I am not truly grateful for being able to spend the day at such a unique and wonderful place.  Thank you to everyone that makes (this golf course) possible." - (My Husband) "The Grass Whisperer"

......that is ARTFUL LIVING!

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Challenge:

Can you find 3 things to be thankful for in your work and/or home life today?  Would you be willing to try daily GRATITUDE if it meant you could have Joy, Peace, Happiness, Contentment? 

 

 

 Related Scripture:
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." - James 1:17

 "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. - Psalm 118:24

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." - Colossians 3:17

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever." - Psalm 136:1

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is at the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body.  And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15



The Belly Button Monster

I know, it's a funny title for a blog post.  This title comes from a discussion I had with my son this morning about a dream he had.  I must say, I learn my biggest lessons in life from my children.  So anyway, this morning... my son is telling me about a dream he had last night about how he had made the decision that

he just didn't needed his Belly Button anymore. 

 

He went on to explain his reasoning in the dream which was,

"Really, what do I need it for anymore?  I mean, I used to need it, but I don't need it anymore and I decided it was time to let it go." 

 

He went on to tell me (between enormous giggles) that he searched and searched for someone to help him get rid of his Belly Button.  Finally, he found this magical wizard who told him about "THE BELLY BUTTON MONSTER".  This wizard guided him over to a box and he told my son (in his dream) that there was a monster in the box and if my son decided to open it, the monster would come out and take his Belly Button from him....since he didn't need it anymore.  My son said he was a little frightened to see this Belly Button Monster, but he was determined to let go of his Belly Button. (My son gestured largely with his hands and big eyes as he went on.) So he ever so slowly opened the box and out popped the Belly Button Monster!!!!  He quickly snatched up my son's belly button and went back inside the box!!! ( Again with large eyes and big arm gestures ) my son said he was so scared to look down at this stomach, in his dream.  He was afraid that in the "snatching" away by the monster that he was now hurt somehow. When he finally looked down at his belly button, it was gone and he had an unblemished, unhurt stomach.  He was so happy and so relieved that he had found help and that the monster and not harmed him but had helped him. He woke up, and that was the end of his dream.

As my son relayed his dream, he was so very animated and expressive, which added to the story.  The dream itself is so his style of humor.  It was such a JOY and very funny to hear him tell it.

Though, for some reason I haven't been able to get his funny dream out of my mind.  Now, this is where God uses the everyday moments to speak to me. This is an ARTFUL LIVING moment. I am so thankful that I can find HIS beauty and teachings in moments like these.  God comes to me in the smallest and yes the funniest of moments, like my son telling me about his dream.  There is a deep lesson here in this seemingly everyday exchange with my child.  (My son has told me his dreams every morning for the past 7 of his 10 years of his life.)  So in this small moment, I was thankfully very present with my son. The dream of an unwanted belly button and a Belly Button Monster made a big impression on me.

I started thinking, "Well, I too have ALOT of unwanted "belly buttons".  Those, would be the things in my life that don't serve me or that I don't need anymore. 

Like FEAR, MY PAST, MISTAKES, NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, UNFORGIVENESS, JEALOUSY, SHAME, UNWORTHINESS, WORRY, etc., etc., etc.,  This list is long.  And we too can go in search of the Belly Button Monster,...OUR GOD...and dare to open ourselves up to Him and how he can take the things in our lives that don't serve us anymore.  We can turn over to Him that which is a burden, or the things that way us down.

What are your "unwanted belly buttons"?

 

You may be thinking I'm weird and that this is a ridiculous way to refer to our burdens or "unwanted's" in our life.  But I found this story to be a silly, funny and lighthearted way/lesson of VISUALIZING with the serious stuff in life that we can

 

LET. IT. GO.

And in letting go and turning over of the things that weigh us down and don't serve us anymore, we too can feel happy and unharmed as my son did in his dream.  For some of us we may only need to do this one time, and for others we may need to do this each day.  Both are a way to let go.

In the listening and learning from my son's funny dream and being "present" in the moment with him, I found God's beauty in the everyday....THAT IS ARTFUL LIVING!



Challenge:   What ARTFUL LIVING moment can you find in your everyday? What unwanted burdens do you need to let go of?  Can you visualize yourself turning them over to God or THE BELLY BUTTON MONSTER?  Visualize yourself and what you would look like without the burden or issue?  Can visualize yourself and what your life would look like without it?  Can you see yourself and/or your life with something positive in it's place?

Related Scripture
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." - Psalms 68:19

"I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep:for thou, Lord only makest me dwell in safety." - Psalms 4:8

"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." - Psalms 55:22